Nihonjin no Otoko wa Motenai

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The title, Nihonjin no Otoko wa Motenai, means Japanese guys aren't popular. Japanese guys aren't the most popular creatures on earth, when it comes to romance. Sad but true.

But why?

Because they are almost always quiet and shy?
Because they have difficulty asking girls out?

Part of it is language, but the other part is cultural.

Perfectly decent, intelligent guys in the Japanese context may appear rude, awkward, or plain inappropriate in Western romantic situations. The Japanese culture does not train these guys to deal with girls with cultural backgrounds different from their own.

Some of them manage to learn on their own and become successful in love, through a long and painful process. Imagine having to deal with rejections while dealing with language and cultural issues. Some never get out of the funk, even after many years.

That's where this book comes in.

The author is a woman, a bilingual, bicultural Japanese national, who grew up going in and out of Japan every few years, and is happily married to an American. In this book, she has poured in her personal experience, as well as the vast information she has gained from talking to other women, Japanese or otherwise. Girls talk. Men don't. Believe me, we know more.

The book is all about functioning happily and effectively as a Japanese guy in Western culture. Far more Emily Post than pick-up guide, it mixes advice on starting and maintaining relationships, information on etiquette, culture and language not taught in school but useful in social situations.

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Some topics include:

How to read facial expressions and body language (visual cues)
How to read verbal clues in English
How to make a good impression even with weak English skills
Where to go and what to do on a first date
Learning when a good-night kiss is appropriate
How to apologize

The book is a pdf*** file, 127 pages if printed on letter-sized paper. A4 paper can be used to print out if you are not living in North America and do not have access to letter size.

It is written entirely in Japanese.
If you don't read Japanese, this book is not for you.

***PDFfiles need Acrobat Reader installed on your system.
Download it here.


The book costs 25 dollars and returns invaluable insight into living abroad and non-Japanese relationships.

But let us emphasize again, if you don't read Japanese at a native level, this book is useless for you.

We only have this informational page in English because the US-based store system requires us to have it. This page is not meant to invite non-Japanese speakers to purchase the book.

If you are one of our potential readers, we invite you to go to our Japanese page, read it, and when convinced, make the purchase, download it, start reading right away. Don't forget to try what you've learned!

Here's the "buy" button. It will take you first to a brief explanation of the process, then to the store system for the actual purchase.

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If you are a Japanese guy, chances are all women are strange, foreigners are strange, and foreign women are strange beyond belief. This book will help make those strange creatures a little more understandable.

Half of the world is women. Knowing how to deal with them is useful and important. Whoever you are, and wherever you live.

with love,
Mieko Mochizuki Swartz
in foggy San Francisco
letters@motenai-japan.com

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© 2008 Mieko Mochizuki Swartz. All rights reserved.